I have been reading random blogs in the last few days and have been struck by what I have found. Loosely quoting from the same movie as inspired the last entry (Meet Joe Black) a woman dying tells Death (who has pronounced himself lonely) that we are all, down here, lonely--and the best we can hope for is to get a few nice pictures (memories) to take with us.
What I have heard from these blogs is an inate sense of loneliness and a longing for connection. The draw of a blog for some people, I believe, is simply to be heard. A board I frequent had a task posed...write 10 random facts or insights about yourself. It was a great exercise and I learned many interesting things about people. Even more fascinating though was who was responding. People who rarely post along with the more active members. If a person frequents a large board and rarely participates--what is it about that exercise that would draw them out? They are, many of them, shy people--so why respond to something so personal? We all like to talk about ourselves, my friend said--very true, and even further--we all long to be heard. We want someone to say, "I hear you, and on some level I connect to what you are saying or feeling."
This is made even more intriguing in a world with so much connectivity--global news, telephones, fax machines, email, boards, instant messaging--and yet we are still all inherently lonely people looking for a few good pictures to take with us when we go.
Monday, April 05, 2004
Saturday, April 03, 2004
No regrets. I watched a movie tonight and knowing that he was dying, a father's most important piece of advice to his daughter was that she live her life with no regrets.
I feel the same way, the same sense of importance to not having regrets. What does it really mean, though, to have no regrets? A regret, according to The American Heritage Dictionary:
--re·gret n. 1. A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone. 2. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different. 3. regrets. A courteous expression of regret, especially at having to decline an invitation. [Middle English regretten, to lament, from Old French regreter : re-, re- + -greter, to weep (perhaps of Germanic origin).]
Whenever I take a multiple choice test I always first rule out the answer that most obviously doesn't fit, so certainly for the sake of this musing I can rule out the third meaning, which leaves two. I cannot say that I have no regret in the sense of loss and/or longing for someone or something gone...I would more directly define that as nostalgia. I can look back on certain segments of my life and feel a wish to return to, for example, a time before so many illusions were lost...but its a momentary regret because I'd never truly wish to be that person again. I can also look back on certain people that have imprinted themselves on my life and, for one reason or another, are no longer a part of my present life, and feel a strong sense of regret in the form of loss and longing. Still, the impact they have had, and continue to have, on my life is no less because their connection was in the past. We all have paths to take in this life and sometimes people's paths cross for a moment, sometimes they merge for a time then split off, but the imprint is there forever. So while I long for the sense of connection, I never regret, in the sense of disappointment or distress, that they were part of my life for however long. That leaves me with number 2, the regret that is disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different...that is the stickler, the one that serves no purpose, that has no place in my life. I love threes, I love the number three, I love the sense of completion in threes and the sense of balance with threes...so certainly my "mantra" is a triad: I cannot change the past, I cannot predict the future, I can only live today. No regrets.
I feel the same way, the same sense of importance to not having regrets. What does it really mean, though, to have no regrets? A regret, according to The American Heritage Dictionary:
--re·gret n. 1. A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone. 2. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different. 3. regrets. A courteous expression of regret, especially at having to decline an invitation. [Middle English regretten, to lament, from Old French regreter : re-, re- + -greter, to weep (perhaps of Germanic origin).]
Whenever I take a multiple choice test I always first rule out the answer that most obviously doesn't fit, so certainly for the sake of this musing I can rule out the third meaning, which leaves two. I cannot say that I have no regret in the sense of loss and/or longing for someone or something gone...I would more directly define that as nostalgia. I can look back on certain segments of my life and feel a wish to return to, for example, a time before so many illusions were lost...but its a momentary regret because I'd never truly wish to be that person again. I can also look back on certain people that have imprinted themselves on my life and, for one reason or another, are no longer a part of my present life, and feel a strong sense of regret in the form of loss and longing. Still, the impact they have had, and continue to have, on my life is no less because their connection was in the past. We all have paths to take in this life and sometimes people's paths cross for a moment, sometimes they merge for a time then split off, but the imprint is there forever. So while I long for the sense of connection, I never regret, in the sense of disappointment or distress, that they were part of my life for however long. That leaves me with number 2, the regret that is disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different...that is the stickler, the one that serves no purpose, that has no place in my life. I love threes, I love the number three, I love the sense of completion in threes and the sense of balance with threes...so certainly my "mantra" is a triad: I cannot change the past, I cannot predict the future, I can only live today. No regrets.
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